


recollections;

by bloodynargles



Series: distoria; [2]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: 'too much cute. gotta destroy', (its not done), 1st and 2nd chapters up, Angst, BUT theyre in order so dont worry, Blackwatch (Overwatch) - Freeform, Cryogenics, F/M, Gen, I was like, Memory Loss, Post-Fall of Overwatch, Repressed Memories, Swiss HQ explosion, Talon (Overwatch) - Freeform, at different times, distoria is just pain and more pain and like, i still dont know what happens w her and mccree, i wanna space it out, im sorry btw, mute character, real sorry, see if ppl actually read and want the third lmao, there's a part in this that yall arent gonna understand dont worry ill post that fic soon, these are three different chapters, third comes in a little while
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-21 23:10:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14295489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodynargles/pseuds/bloodynargles
Summary: Maybe if she thinks back far enough there's still that little glimmer of hope that nothing would go wrong, that what had happened when she was a child was the end of the pain, the disasters and death. Plenty of people went through terrible things and came out fine on the other side.





	1. regret;

**Author's Note:**

> three chapters, first two are short, around 300 words ish - last one is the long one. buckle the fuck up

Maybe if she thinks back far enough there's still that little glimmer of hope that nothing would go wrong, that what had happened when she was a child was the end of the pain, the disasters and death. Plenty of people went through terrible things and came out fine on the other side. Many people found a place. She _had_ a place.

 

They had released her from her cryosleep two years previous, it was like being a child all over again – they treated you like you were fragile, watched as you tried to amble around the room haphazardly, and then shoved you in a corner until they had need of you. Maybe that is just her view on how parents act, but it is still a point. She was never sure how she felt about the organization that had left her to die – the _people_ that she had cared for.. loved, even.

 

She watched the Swiss headquarters implode from the roof of a building nearby. In the deafening silence that occupied the moments as the dust settled, before the sirens and the screaming, before it had sunk in, she only felt... Regret. The sadness came later, the grief that shattered her inside for a life she had believed she had, for the- for-

She can't remember who he was. But she misses him, her heart _aches_ for someone she can never see again.

 

Those men and women that had saved her from the rubble, the construct of peace they offered – it was gone in a second. Everything they stood for, worked under, _promised_ , it was gone. Any chance she had at returning to them was gone. She was alone, and for the first time since she awoke in a partially collapsed part of her childhood home, as the sirens and anguish filled the silence, Valia _cried_. Sobbed out into the once open air, now filled with the ash and fragments building materials. Of probable bone fragments that belonged to the people within what was a beacon of _safety_. A home.

Talon was not a place to call home. There was no illusion of grandeur, no safety net to trap you in, no, Talon was a _business_ , and you were there to do their bidding. She was there to use her knowledge of the building to help rig it with explosives. God, they should have just let her  _die_.


	2. worth;

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She realises that maybe the dark figure in her head was not someone else, but the empty person she has become.

She has no memory of the mission that Overwatch sent her on. No memory of the objectives, of the reason they needed to infiltrate the place, nothing. She doesn't tell them that she remembers the feeling of rain dropping lightly on her face. Doesn't tell them that she remembers hearing familiar voices scream her name, that their voices got hoarser every time but they did not stop. She never heard them _stop_. She doesn't remember the months before she was KIA, sometimes there are gentle reminders of feelings she had back then, a laugh she can never place and the dark figure that emerges over the years that she can never see clearer.

 

They send her on clean-up missions, take out agents that would cause problems, that would arise suspicion, hunt Talon down until their anger was sated. She gets sent out on a recon mission to find and locate a former Blackwatch agent and her whole chest hurts at the sight of him. Him. Who _was_ he?

 

Sometimes she just wishes her memory would come back in a flood, answer her questions, give her _herself_ back – but then she remembers that she isn't that woman anymore. As she's watching the agent try to blend in, try to mask his pain, to make people believe his disguise, she realises that maybe they were just alike. Two sides of the same coin, other ends of the line but both _pretending_. She realises that maybe the dark figure in her head was not someone else, but the empty person she has become.

 

They call her Distoria now, but Valia still lurks behind her dead eyes and there are moments when she chokes on her former self, because she is not a _person_ any longer. She is a tool to be used. An asset. Those who are used cannot afford to _be_ anyone. They never live long enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talon is just
> 
> fucked up


	3. memory;

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a dead drop in an old bar along a mostly abandoned road in an old town in the desert. Unassuming, the bartender is a man who's seen too much to question every person that walks through his door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here comes the big boi

There's a dead drop in an old bar along a mostly abandoned road in an old town in the desert. Unassuming, the bartender is a man who's seen too much to question every person that walks through his door. The bell chimes above her head as she pushes the door open, mid-afternoon and the place looks as empty as peak time. Nothing costs much anymore, she wouldn't be surprised if he kept this place open because he liked having living beings around. She pulls herself up on the stool beside someone she doesn't recall seeing before, but brushes it off absently, knowing that enough kinds come through this bar, and you learn to accept new faces as just that. He glances her way, running his eyes up and down her form but keeps to himself, looking away and lifting his whiskey glass to his lips.

There's a rule to these things, something she's come to find in all her time as a usable source of information – you have to at least make it seem like you're there for something other than to drop off a suspicious package to a hooded stranger in the corner. These days, she's always partial to a drink or two, wouldn't pass on the chance to drown her sorrows, if only for a moment. Lets the newbies settle into the thought that she was just there to enjoy her drink. But maybe this one was just a little _too_ suspicious for his own good.

 

They sit in silence for a longer time than necessary, but she wants to know if he's going to pounce on her dead drop the moment she pulls herself off of this bar stool. She _really_ doesn't want to have to silence those brown eyes of his. They remind her too much of something she can't place, and her day has already been bad enough. He moves, eventually, slipping money onto the bar and making his way towards the door. She has him monitored at the corner of her eye, his heavy shadow leaving the bottom of the door frame and exiting stage left. She lingers in her seat for around ten minutes more, rising from her stool and casually walking to a table in the darkened corner and placing her drop on the table. Wrapped up like a child's birthday present, but probably something a child should definitely not handle. “So, i'm guessing you wont be at the party, then?” Its a common phrase that masks their intentions, though in this place she's not quite sure how useful it really is. Her head tilts to the right and the hooded man nods slowly, “Shame.”

 

He leaves first, drops a tip at the bar with the colourful wrapped gift in hand and as the familiar sound of the bell chiming as the door closes she sinks into the wooden chair beneath her. There had been these thoughts in her head recently, doubts of intentions, of things that people had sworn to be true. Questionable memories that throw something she had been told into play as a _lie_. A possible lie that she had believed, something she had built her entire life after her supposed death on. If they did not abandon her, then her reasoning behind inflicting pain upon Gerard, behind helping to blow up the headquarters – it was all based on a lie. And she had everything to do with hurting and killing people that she once _loved_. They were her family, once. Maybe the fact that she couldn't remember anything wasn't because of her injuries, maybe it was because a third party _interfered_.

She knows what they did to Amelie. The mere thought of a fact she trusted to the core being wrong throws her whole understanding out the window. The thought that the people that she thought had saved her had really lied and wiped her memory is almost too predictable for her to not think about.

 

 

At some point the bell chimes again, and absently there are boot steps coming her way, a weight settling on the vacant chair in front of her, she doesn't really pay much attention until words come from the stranger. “'Scuse me darlin', don't mean-ta disturb ya.” She bites back the harsh remark that he just had, and lets her eyes now look at the man from the bar earlier. There was an old cowboy hat covering up what looked like a year and a half of not getting a haircut, or doing much with it, at all. The old thing looks worn, pulled down crooked over one side of his face, hiding narrowed brown eyes that said a lot more than the fact that he 'didn't want to disturb her'. Maybe he really _was_ too suspicious for his own good. Or maybe he knew _exactly_ what was going on here. But then again, she wasn't even quite sure.

A dark, elegantly shaped eyebrow raises in reply, and he opens his mouth to respond, but closes it, leaning back into his chair, the free hand that she could see absently pulling at his clothes to cover his other. Subconsciously hiding something he hates, that's something she knows a lot about. A deep sigh comes from his chest, eyebrows furrowing, “Jus' wanted to ask what yer husband's name was, was all.” Her eyes narrow out of confusion, and he seems to almost chuckle to himself. “Not a talker, then?” She tilts her head slightly, still perturbed about his previous question, was it a new phrase she hadn't been notified of? Was it something she was supposed to remember? Or was she thinking too far into something from a man that had careful written all over him?

His brown eyes watch her expression with intent, somewhere her former self is screaming at her and there's a flash of someone she couldn't quite remember, someone with brown eyes and- and- “Darlin', ya alright?” The brown that was watching for signs of fuck ups seemed to be oddly... worried. His free hand is on the table, fingers almost splayed as if reaching for her and maybe she looks worse than she feels. Her expression turns hardened and she pulls herself up and off the seat, there's a wooden pillar about three feet in front of her, but to say that she doesn't make it is a harsh understatement.

 

Its a piercing, searing pain and that if she could will something from her mouth she would yell. It knocks her vision, her balance, her consciousness. Two things occur to her before the pain takes her completely – one, she can feel his arms around her, holding her up, can feel the vibrations of his voice beside her ear. Two, she knows exactly who he is.

 

_Jesse._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like i retconned a couple things that was in the other chapters so they might need a rewrite lmao


End file.
